Men think that computers should be referred to as female, just like ships, because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The language in which they communicate among themselves is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. The message "Bad command or File Name" is about as informative as "if you don't know why I'm mad at you, I'm certainly not going to tell you !"
4. Your smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for later retrieval.
5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you spend half your paycheck on accessories for it.
6. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.

Women think computers are male because:

1. They have lots of data, but are still clueless.
2. They are supposed to solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
3. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had only waited a bit longer, you could have had a better model.
4. To get their attention, you have to "turn them on".
5. A big "power-surge" will knock them out for the rest of the night !
6. It is always necessary to have a backup.
7. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
8. Size does matter.

How C++ is like teenage s*x:

1. It is on everyone's mind all the time.
2. Everyone talks about it all the time.
3. Everyone thinks everyone else is doing it.
4. Almost no one is really doing it.
5. The few who are doing it are: A. Doing it poorly. B. Sure it will be better next time. C. Not practising it safely

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
6. To err is human... to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.
7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.
9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.

~~>Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning....

~~>"The definition of a hacker ? Someone who, after installing a new program, goes immediately into the [Tools][Options] menu." — Me.

~~>/* You are not expected to understand this */

~~>It only takes three commands to install Gentoo: cfdisk /dev/hda && mkfs.xfs /dev/hda1 && mount /dev/hda1 /mnt/gentoo/ && chroot /mnt/gentoo/ && env-update && . /etc/profile && emerge sync && cd /usr/portage && scripts/bootsrap.sh && emerge system && emerge vim && vi /etc/fstab && emerge gentoo-dev-sources && cd /usr/src/linux && make menuconfig && make install modules_install && emerge gnome mozilla-firefox openoffice && emerge grub && cp /boot/grub/grub.conf.sample /boot/grub/grub.conf && vi /boot/grub/grub.conf && grub && init 6
That's the first one....!!

~~>"Linux is only free if your time is worthless."

~~>"To define recursion, we must first define recursion."...

:D :D